7th chunk

How we deal with our feelings is different for everyone, and everybody acts differently according to the way they feel. But in the end we pretty much end up acting more or less the same. Ardy Laing said "Society highly values its normal man. It educates children to lose themselves and to become absurd, and thus to be normal." This is very true, people want to be considered normal, and people will act differently to be just like everyone else. In class we watched the show Care Bears. This is an example according to Ardy Laing of how we educate children to lose themselves, they are brainwashed. Even though i never watched Care Bears, i watched other shows such as Barney, Sesame Street, the Rugrats, Ren and stimpy (the weirdest show ever by the way), hey Arnold, full house, boy meets world, Rocco's modern life and some others but those were the TV shows i watched when i was younger. A lot of these shows had a moral to them, and they always wanted to do good deeds and be a good person. Full house is a perfect example of a show with "good morals".
The pizza pie of my emotions consists of these emotions. 1/4 Happy-with friends people i enjoy being around. 1/4 worthless, i feel like me in the world, is nothing in comparison with everything around me and my life is pointless. 1/8 hyper, mostly at nights. 1/8 tired and lazy and just need to do nothing and relax. 1/8 disconnected with everything around me.
I am happy when i am laughing, i feel worthless in life because who am i in the big picture of things? I'm nothing a speak of dust. This makes me feel disconcerted because i feel whats the point and i am very lazy, I'm tired a lot of the time and i am not a morning person, i often never remember my mornings because i don't pay attention to things when i am tired. I also have a lot of energy which is why i like playing sports and running around.
When we listened to music in class it made me realize that music makes people feel a certain way and can express an emotion more strongly. For example when your watching a scary movie, they play high pitched violin music or whatever and it really does make you scared more. It doesn't make sense to play reggaton at a funeral because that type of music is upbeat.
I wasn't in class when we talked about the nozicks machine, but the way it was explained to me was you could enter the machine and do what ever you want, for example time travel, fly, swim underwater. If i could i would enter the machine, i would rather travel throughout time and travel all over the world and see what this world really has to offer than live out my life. I don't even enjoy half of the things i do, i feel like i am forced to do things all the time. My parents have me go places with them, where i don't want to go. I don't want to go to school, i really don't like school but i still have to go because if i didn't i would be in a even worse situation. I would say that i spend 50% of my time actually doing things i like doing.
Ardy Lang said " Our capacity to see, hear, touch, taste, and smell is so shrouded in veils of mystification that an intensive discipline of un-learning is necessary for anyone before one can begin to experience the world afresh, with innocence, truth and love." Ardy Laing said we are taught at a young age to loose ourselves, our feelings are easily manipulated. The care bears is a show teaching kids to feel a certain way.
Looking over my feelings throughout the past few weeks in class i noticed i usually said the same thing. On a typical day i was content with my self, i felt ok being in school. Not great, not bad. I was also tired a lot of the time, those were the morning classes. Whenever I'm in school i always think about being out of school, what am i doing this weekend and so on.
A lot of the time we don't deal with out feelings the right way. I don't always deal with my emotions the way i should, i tend to overreact sometimes. x